


I Feel Small

by queen_of_all_hell



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Canon Trans Character, Damien Bloodmarch deserves the best, FTM, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Idk what else to tag but enjoy these gay bois, M/M, binding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 02:24:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11864667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_of_all_hell/pseuds/queen_of_all_hell
Summary: Damien loves Robert with all of his heart but can't help the guilt he feels when he can't help but envy his lover.





	I Feel Small

Damien has so many things in his life to be happy about and on bad days he feels guilty when they can't cheer him up. On those bad days Robert can nearly sense the goth's sadness. 

Damien tends to avoid his lover on these days.

Robert wishes he didn't, wishes he could do something.

Often its only a day or two before things go back to normal and Damien resumes his bright personality and stops avoiding his boyfriend. Robert still worries on these days but rejoices the other man's return.

But today was a bad day. Yesterday was a bad day. The day before that was a bad day. 

And Robert is determined to find out what is wrong. Damien had politely decined to come down for dinner saying he would get something later. So Robert in his quite and determined manner brought Damien's dinner to his room, a plate of vegetarian stuffed bell peppers with a spring salad and mandarin oranges. He raps gently on the dark wooden door. After a few moments of listening to blankets rustleing and the shifting of a body Damien calls out a muffled 'come in.'

The open door reveals a room that hasn't been cleaned in a few days, a contrast to Damien's normally tidey nature. The man himself is a mess, his forever impeccable hair is tied in a messy bun and the rest of his body is wrapped in blankets.

"I brought you dinner." Robert says shortly. Damien softly rises from his cacoon wincing a small bit. Clad only in an old band shirt and a pair of purple pajama pants covered in black bats. He's paler than usual, it takes Robert by suprise. 

"O-oh," Damien clearly wasn't excepting Robert to come back upstairs. "How kind of you." He says with a weak voice. He hasn't looked at Robert yet, his eyes cast down at the floor. Robert walks to the bed and places the tray of food on Damiens lap then takes a seat in front of him. 

"How long have you been wearing that?" Damien knows he's referring to the way he winced when he sat up, he has clearly been wearing his binder for far too long. Its something he does on the bad days. 

It takes a bit of waiting and Damien fussing with his blankets nervously before Robert recives an answer. "I don't remember." He chews on his lip waiting for the others response.

But Robert doesn't know what to say, should he ask him whats wrong, should he ask that Damien remove the article for his safety. But before he can decide on something his body just lets out a mix between a growl and a grumble. 

Damiens eyes flutter shut, he doesn't know what to say either so he defaults to "I'm sorry." He never knows what to do about these things, with Lucien's farher this had been his constant state, he hadn't needed to cope as he had distanced himself from any kind responsiblities when his partner made him. But now he had a son, a job, friends, Robert and he couldn't to save his life figure out how to pick himself up. So when the bad days came he distanced himself, calling in sick at work and asking Hugo to pick up Lucien for school and excusing himself from meals. 

"I just want to know what's wrong, I'm worried." Those were words the cryptid hunter rarely used, saving them for people he truely cared for. Robert's eyes were now down cast as well, staring at the floor littered with tissuses and socks. Damien hated dirty socks on the sheets opting to change his fuzzy ones everytime he got up.

The other dad opened his mouth to speak but the words caught in his throat and came out as a sad choked noise like a wounded animal. Tears burned his eyes before falling onto his pale cheeks. His breaths rapidly getting shorter and shallower and his hands clutching at the hem of his binder under his first few ribs.

Robert moves the tray of food that had since been forgotten onto the floor beside the bed and pulls his lover into his arms. The frequency of his panic attacks have significantly decreased since the two began dateing but by no means stopped. Robert didn't have much experience with them so the best he could do was hold the man, rub soothing circles into his back and gently try to calm the sobs.

"I'm sorry," the goth breathes once he's caught his breath enough. "This is so silly, I have no reason to act in such a manner." Tears are still dripping down onto Robert's shirt though. "It's just I-I, I'll never be real. Everything I am is a lie, is fabricated." He sniffles.

Robert's heart sinks into his stomach at the way the man he loves speaks about himself. "You do so much, work so hard, you're entitled to an off day." He soothes pressing a kiss to the top of Damien's head even if his hair is a little greasy. "But you are so much more real than anything else in the world, and it doesn't matter if you take a shot once a week you're takeing charge and being who you are inside." A kiss to the forehead. "You are the light of my life, you've changed me" A kiss to the cheek.

"Every time I look at you I see all the things I can never be." A hand rakes across the chest of his concert shirt, before tracing Robert sharp stubbly jaw and then resting on his solid chest. Damien's head comes to rest there after moving his hand to a muscular shoulder. 

"You are stronger than anyone I know." Robert speaks into the other's long hair. "You're doing such a good job raising Lucien and you help all the animals at the shleter, and on top of that you deal with me. He gently pulls Damien's delicate chin up to place a kiss on the corner of his mouth. "I love you and I don't want you to hurt." The pain eveident in his voice. A calloused hand brushes against his boyfriend's hip beneath the shirt that is likely older than the teenager alsleep a few doors away.

Robert's warm hand trails a path over Damien's soft flesh to ever so slightly tug at the hem of the black binder. Damien's breath hitches for a moment when his eyes meet Robert's soft and pained, it seems as if he's about to have another attack but instead he shuts his eyes and turns his body away from the other dad. Robert trys to avert his eyes as the man strips but he can't help but notice the beginning if bruising around Damien's torso and ribs. He takes note to avoid the tender areas. 

The shame evedent on the eccentric mans face is enough to shatter anyone's heart, it pummels Robert's to dust. Instead of letting his lover see him cry Robert just carefully places his lips utop the other man's afraid that with the slightest misstep Damien would break beneath his harsh touch. His fingers absent mindly massaging the tender flesh of the goth's ribs trying to help work out the knots from the prolonged compression. Damien melts into him after guiding the cryptid hunter down the pillows. 

Damien breaks away to catch his somewhat pained breathing "I'm so-" he tries to repeat but is cut off with hungry lips. 

"You're so perfect," Robert can't help but moan when black painted fingers find their way into his hair. Every muscle in his body feels tense in the moment. 

When they both pull away panting Damien without hesitation is adjusting his shirt snd positioning his arms to make his breasts disapper as best he can. Robert just doesn't know what to do. He wants to help but he can't help but feel like all he's doing is makeing things worse. "It hurts," he says in a deep voice almost a growl. "I want to help you the way you help me but I seem to make it worse, tell me what to do." He croaks out.

Theres a heavy pause between the two before Damien just says "Love me." and pulls his boyfriend into a kiss once more. Robert starts to bite small spots on the paler man's neck but he knows tonight will go no further, if the man he loves needs comfort and company so he shall receive.

**Author's Note:**

> Ay so I'm non-bianary author and this is a bit of a vent for me right now so i hope its worth a damn because i love my goth cinnamon roll and his sinnamonroll
> 
> {Edit} this fic has been edied so that hopefully most of the spelling errors are gone now :)


End file.
